Comfort Food

I had a dream about a week ago.  One of those everything is a mess and there are a bunch of people I don't know mixed with people I do know but who aren't acting normal dreams.

And in the middle of the dream, I heard a voice that said, "What we need is more comfort food."

At the time, I was thinking about the elections here in the US and about Brexit and about how I'd hidden most of my Facebook friends' comments because I was very very tired of the divisiveness, racism, materialism, misogyny, misanthropy, elitism, and EVERYTHING.  I was thinking about how we don't talk on Facebook, we meme.  And about how many comments (including mine, I confess) begin or end with "you moron."

Then, a black man was shot in Louisiana because he was selling CDs and the police were frightened.  And then, a black man was shot in Minnesota because although he was following procedure and had told police he had a CWP and was showing them ID, the police were frightened and shot him.  In a car with a small child in the back seat.  And then, in an otherwise peaceful protest in Dallas, a lone sniper killed four police officers and a transit officer.

And the response was interesting.  We prayed for peace.  Some only prayed for the two black men and some only prayed for the police officers.  Some said that if you obey the law, you don't get shot, which is disturbing on many levels.

1.  We have the death penalty for very few crimes.  Shoplifting, broken tail lights, even burglary are not generally punishable by death.  White people who commit these crimes don't get killed by police. Dylan Roof, who shot nine church-goers in Charleston, was treated with respect when he was captured, even though he had a gun.

2.  These men did what they were supposed to do. OK, the man in Louisiana got a little rowdy, but the school employee in Minnesota followed the rules.  It is disingenuous to suggest this is their fault.

3.  This is America.  It is not a police state.  Respect for police is a great thing.  Police respect for citizens is a great thing.  The suggestion that one should take abuse from a police officer then file a "civil rights" violation complaint is absurd.  Is that what you do, white person?  Oh no, you won't be in that situation.  But if you are... you will shout "Do you know who I am?" and you will not be shot.

4.  This is not about a few bad police officers.  Look at the reaction of the police officer in Minnesota.  That boy is freaking out.  He is not a bad person.  He was afraid.  He is a part of a culture of distrust and fear. He was not an anomaly.

OK, so what do we do?

Well, first we confess: I have not loved God and I have not loved my neighbor as myself.

Then we forgive.  That is not to say we don't expect our criminal justice system to do its job.  It's that we forgive and let God do God's work. And let's be real, we may have to work on this. Take your time, and find your peace.  Don't embrace your inner spoiled brat.  Civilize that little bugger.

And then we talk.  We sit down and eat together and tell our stories.  And we listen to the stories without defensiveness and fear.  And we tell our stories with embellishment or braggadocio.  And we eat real food that gives us peace and comfort and love.

People do not live by bread alone.  We need the community to feed us.

Where have you been?

Since I wrote that last post, a whole lot of things have happened.  Who would think?

So, it turned out that I had ulcers.  For real.  Not the "you're giving me ulcers, shut up," kind of thing, but real live ulcers.  And damned if the doctor didn't cure me.  Nexium is my friend.  So I started taking Nexium and quit taking my daily overdose of Advil & Alka Seltzer, and my ulcers are healed.  Which is good, except that I have gained a little weight back.  Bummer.

But, the real bummer came a little later.  It seems that my gall bladder, which was removed in November, didn't cause my unusual blood tests.  After a lot of testing and wondering and panicking, it turns out that I have an auto-immune disease called Primary Biliary Cirrhosis.  Serious bummer.  I will know more later after a biopsy, but right now, it looks like I've got a while to be my old whiny self until I really get sick.

Now, what does this have to do with food? 

Since PBC is an inflamation of the bile ducts, and since some people think inflamation is a problem with lots of diseases, I've decided to try an anti-inflamatory diet.  Sort of.  Those things are brutal.

First:  lots of fruits and vegetables.  That's not a problem, since I love fruits and vegetables.  Some people (I hear) are sensitive to plants in the nightshade family, like tomatoes, eggplants, and potatoes, but I don't think I am.  At least, I'm going to act like I'm not and continue to eat those veggies. 

Second:  not so much meat.  A little chicken, some fish, a little dairy.  Now, this is where I diverge.  I love dairy.  I eat Chobani Greek yogurt every single day.  Maybe twice a day.  And I use the plain yogurt instead of mayonnaise (which I'd like to keep eating as much as possible, but that seems to be on every one's no-no list.)  While I can give up red meat fairly easily, I will not give up cheese, yogurt, and skim milk.  I hope that won't be a problem.

Third: other types of protein are good.  Tofu, beans and rice, quinoa.  OK, I'll be working with that.

Something I read suggested that too much protein might be bad for me right now.  I will talk to my doctor about that.  I think I'll go visit a dietitian.  My insurance won't pay for that, of course.  It's a cheap way to avoid future medical expenses, but no, they won't cover it.  Oh well.

Fourth:  not so much processed food.  That is something I've been working on for awhile.  Unless it's Greek food, the ingredients shouldn't be Greek.  Or Latin.  Or whatever those chemicals are named in.  So, no Twinkies.  This is not a problem.  Snickers... that's another story.

Today, I am eating blueberry yogurt, a rainbow of fruit (strawberries, peach, pineapple, grapes, and blueberries), and a burrito made with guacamole, hamburger (I know, red meat), cheese, spices, and salsa on a whole wheat tortilla.  I am drinking watered-down blueberry/pomegranate juice.  I'll probably eat birthday cake for dinner, but I'm working on that weak link there.

And so I begin my journey into interesting food that is good for me.  I'll try to be interesting as well.

What I can eat

I went to the doctor the other day because of some "issues" that showed up at my annual physical.  He asked if I had lost weight, or if my appetite was different.

"I said, well, yes, I've lost weight.  And my appetite is not as large as it used to be.  But..."

and I stopped.

"This is very important... " I really truly said.

"Unless I am about to die, if this is caused by illness, I do not want you to cure me until I lose another 20 or 30 lbs."

This is the thing:  I don't really feel sick except for some pesky heart burn.  I can't eat a whole lot at a time without becoming uncomfortable, but is that terrible?  I mean, I am 5'4".  I don't need a whole lot of calories.

And not being hungry makes it easier for me to choose better food.  I'm not starving.  I don't have to settle for the saltine crackers in the back of the cabinet.  I can take the time to think about what I want... to eat intuitively and not impulsively.

Since I don't recommend the "get sick and die" diet (I am not dying any more than usual, so don't freak out on me), how does this translate to real life eating?

I think it depends on you and your personality style.  One option is to plan meals in advance and have the food ready to be prepared and eaten.  Although you can't plan for what your body will really need, you do know that a nice mix of colors is good.  If you notice you are liking a lot of orange, plan for extra orange. 

I can't do that, though.  My mind revolts against pre-planning and order.  It's painful, since there is another part of my mind that would like to take a 2012 calendar and spend January 1st writing EVERYTHING that is going to happen all year long.  I'm still working on that... BUT...

My best option is to have a choice of healthy snacks that I really like, not the ones I'm supposed to like.  I am able to go by the grocery store on the way to work and buy fruit and veggies and something for lunch.  If I don't, I have peanut granola bars that will keep me from sucking down the saltines in the back of the cabinet.  And because I get full really fast, I make sure to pick protein & a variety of colors first.  I don't need the fillers as much right now, so I stay on the low end of number of servings of whole grain stuff.

This really sounds great when I write it out.  Isn't that cool?