I have always said that all my journals begin "this time I am REALLY going to lose weight/ exercise/live a healthier life. This is further proof of that claim.
I wrote this 3 years ago, when I decided to write an AOL journal. It was private, but even then I didn't write much. However, I did write something, so when AOL told me they were closing down my blog and I needed to transfer, I thought, why not? (Or, since I'm channeling Sarah Palin: "why not, doggonit?")
I have not looked at this journal in three years. This rediscovery of past promises finds me at a time in my life when a healthy life change would be a really good thing. My blood pressure, though currently "controlled," is very high. I am once again taking my thyroid medication and I can tell it does make a difference. I won't lose weight because of the medication, though. Another myth shot to hell. I am feeling the stress of three jobs that pay and a couple more that don't, family, friends, and age. And of course, the elections, the economy, and the wars.
In my brain, I know that a good walk around the neighborhood with my loving husband would do wonders for my health, mind, and spirit. It occurred to me today that I am very conscientious about doing the right thing as far as work, family, the environment, etc. In most things in this world, I have left behind hedonism. I go for the long term pleasure and good rather than the cheap thrill. I recycle.
So why do I eat cold tater tots when I really need steamed veggies? Why do I order the thickburger (even the little thickburger) that will make me want to shower and take a nap, when I know broiled fish will make me feel happier throughout the afternoon? Is this one of my last bits of hedonism? Go for the cheap grease thrill instead of the long-term good health feeling?
Maybe I should go back to romance novels.
Oh well... pass the popcorn...
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