I have said many times that I don't DIET. It's a bad word that is chocked full of calories, at least in my case. I hear the word and gain weight.
It's not about weight, I say, stepping off the scale. It's about health. And mine is OK... really. All right, I'm tired, my blood pressure is high, I can't walk a mile in any one's shoes, ... did I mention that I'm tired? But at least I've got my health... sort of.
And so, we ask, how, after the stresses of holidays followed rapidly by tax season followed by trying to catch up on my life after tax season, do I find myself here: I've lost two & a half clothing sizes in the last year. Three and half in the last three years. AND I EAT ALL THE TIME.
OK, the first possibility is that I was not wearing the right size. In my mind, I am always the same size. Y'know what I mean? That is usually FAT. So I buy the same size clothes until they (almost literally) fall off my body.
This is me in 2007, at the baby shower for my first grandson:
I was either a size 18 or 20. I have a picture from when Gabe was about 18-months (2009) in which I look more like the Michelin man (as my poor husband said in an unguarded moment, bless his heart).
Last year, I started wearing size 16, which was so cool for me I almost cried in the dressing room. As anyone who's been there knows, 16 is in the normal ladies department; 18 is in the fat ladies department. Sixteen is in Coldwater Creek. Sixteen is sweet!
And this year, I noticed the 16s were a little loose. OK, I have a flat butt. It's genetic. Flat is kind. It's more like non-existent. Except, in my case, flat and wide. But recently, not so wide.
Then one day during tax season, I was wearing my favorite black size 18 jeans. And they kept sliding down. Far. And my cotton granny pants were not meant to peak over the back of my jeans. Ever.
And so, I drove to Walmart, tried on a pair of size 14 jeans (with a little stretch), and THEY FIT. I didn't even have to lie down on the floor of the changing room to zip them! To make it even better, if I buy the Petite size, I wear 12.
I am so excited I think I'll blog about it. Oh wait, I did.
So now you are thinking, What? I lost 10 pounds in two weeks. Gained 20 back the next week, but that's how it works. Three years, Kathy, you say. Three years.
And I say, "Yeah! And I didn't diet. And although I joined a gym, I didn't go." (I'm not advocating that --- I really am going to start going next week. Really.)
So what happened? Pills? Surgery? Bulimia?
NO!!!! I started Eating the Angel Way!!!!
I'll go into more excruciating detail tomorrow.... cause it's too good not to share.
In my perfect world, I can eat anything I want and not gain weight, not feel like washing my face with Dawn, not drag around like a slug all day. In my perfect world, I sprint from my bed to my shower to my day...
In my real world, I eat broccoli and cottage cheese while drooling over my lunch mate's chili dog. I drag my sorry butt to the gym and beat my muscles into submission with the help of Dusty the S&M personal trainer.
Well, not me, as anyone who has ever seen me knows, but I do know people who do some or all of those things. And some of them look mahvelous. Sad, but mahvelous.
I'm the lunch mate with the chili dog. I gain weight when I walk by the Krispie Kreme store. I sprint to my car and hunt for the closest parking place wherever I go.
Or at least, that's how I USED to be. Now I eat chili dogs, fried fish, and 1 lb bags of peanut M&Ms very rarely. I don't really sprint anywhere yet, but I do park further away than I have to. And I eat at least one rainbow a day. I've lost three pants sizes in the last year. I need a new (smaller) bra. Which is a good thing for me.
And this is what I did not do:
- I did not go to the gym even though I paid a boat load of money to join.
- I did not stop eating greasy, fatty, yummy foods all of a sudden one day.
- I did not start my DIET with a pocket full of will power & a Jillian Michael's DVD.
This is what I did:
I started small.
Really small. I have a dozen or so little note books and sticky notes with bits of my "diet journal." What I ate. What I wanted to eat. It's interesting that these written records all seem to be of days that did NOT include the chili dog or fried okra special. Hmmm...
I ate a rainbow a day.
When I started, I started by adding the rainbow without really taking away the chili dogs. So I'd put a rainbow salsa on my chili dog. I ate Greek yogurt with a rainbow of dried fruit, honey and oatmeal for breakfast. When I went to a party or a pot luck or a restaurant, I'd think rainbow. I still had a lot of "brown" food, but I was filling up with the rainbow. As time went on, the rainbow and white light food took a larger share of my menu. I was able to convert my family from white rice and pasta to whole grains. My family was a little put off by some of my attempts to add color, although in the end, the blue potatoes are very popular. And it's not that hard to chop peppers, onions, tomatoes, and corn and add them to salad, stew, chili, whatever.
I ate a white light protein at every meal.
Mostly. I'm addicted to Greek yogurt now, and add it to just about everything. We eat a lot of fish. I will eat chicken if I can find organic chicken. And we still eat beef and pork, but it is no longer assumed that that will be dinner. My husband and I try to take lunch to work which saves money and gives us more control. When we eat out, we think about what we want. It has been a lot easier to do this since Bob decided he needed to eat better...
Which leads us to another guideline: men are like raindrops & women are like snowflakes.
Bob has no problem dropping the bread and butter, and seems to be able to follow the doctor's vague guidelines and lose weight without trouble. I have thin friends who eat white bread and mayonnaise sandwiches. I followed the South Beach diet and gained 20 lbs. There are just too many variables, and so I had to learn not to look at others and what they eat, but think of what I need.
Moving on, I have learned to eat brown foods with awareness.
I still eat pasta, but not nearly as much and usually whole wheat. I've eaten whole grain bread since I was a kid, but now I aim for artisan bread. Go for the good stuff, if I'm going to eat it. Like blue potatoes and yellow tomatoes, my family has been bewildered by quinoa and other interesting grains, but they are troopers. And Joseph has a car and his own money.
Everyone needs a little sweetness and a little cushion.
When I was pregnant with Mark, I got a mild case of gestational diabetes. I didn't need to test my blood, but I saw a nutritionist who helped me plan my meals so the baby and I would both make it through the pregnancy in good health. One thing that she told me was that I could eat two pieces of fruit a day, but not first thing in the morning and always with protein. I relished those two pieces of fruit as if they were hot fudge sundaes. And now, although there are times when only a Snickers bar will do, I often get the sweet from fruits in yogurt or alone. And I know that the Snickers bar is ok too.
I learned to eat like a baby.
No, I don't eat mashed peas or spit my food at anyone. I have finger painted with food, but that was a little different. I eat when I'm hungry and not when the clock says to eat. I quit when I'm full. I resigned from the clean plate club, but I do try to only put a little on the plate at a time so I don't freak out my inner puritan by wasting food.
I try to eat as organically and locally as possible.
With so many things available year round, this is sometimes hard. Then I channel my mother and remember that out of season fruits and veggies don't taste as good and they are expensive. I do use frozen food and canned food with less salt. Living in SC, there are fresh fruits and veggies all year round, so we use those. This is a transitional thing for me. We're still working on it.
I've kept a diary, but I lie in it. And I'm very gentle with myself.
This is for the long haul.
What you eat is up to you.
This is the second guideline, but I left it for last because this has been the most recent understanding for me. I have eaten food I didn't like and that wasn't good for me because it was served. I have prepared or not prepared food because of the likes and dislikes of my husband and children rather than my own. I have eaten cheeseburgers because I don't want to hurt someones feelings. I have had "one more piece of pie" because I was told it would only go to waste.
And then (last month, I think) someone said, "you get to choose what you eat." And finally I heard it. And now I pass on the office donuts and say no thank you to the sausage biscuit I didn't ask for. I eat super salads and ignore the comments about how little I'm eating (really. Look at me. Am I starving?) I eat Snickers bars, too, when I want to. I eat what I want to eat and I don't apologize. Much. And I think this is what has helped me break through my emotional eating/ personality eating/ whatever eating. And now I eat because it is yummy (even if it doesn't make me wash my face with Dawn) and it is what my body needs right now.
http://eatingtheangelway.blogspot.com/
