Comfort food

I am sort of stressing right now. There are a lot of things, many of which aren't really about me. I'm one of those people who stresses more if it isn't really my problem and I can't do anything to fix it. Give me a real crisis and I will be calm and efficient until it's over. Then I'll fall apart.

One of the things that's making me crazy and making it harder for me to cope is that I'm having hot freaking flashes all the damn time. I know, how can you tell in South Carolina in June? I can tell, and so will my husband when he sees the $500 electric bill. (I hope I'm kidding. But let me just turn up the air conditioner.)

So what does this have to do with my eating and exercising? Oh be real. Who eats a nice fresh salad with lots of pretty vegetables and a yogurt-cucumber dressing when she talks to her children about their life plans or lack thereof? Will a rice pilaf really help a daughter-in-law cope with the grief of losing her father? Can I worry about my total lack of money while eating dried rainbow muesli on yogurt?

Well, now that I put it that way, those things sound kind of yummy. But when I'm at work trying to finish up everything plus the three emergencies so that I can get out of town on Thursday afternoon, I don't think salad. I think bread. And cheese. And meat. And sugar.

I have heard from sources I trust that sometimes we need the comfort food to get us through the day or week or month. As one brilliant woman said, "you need the padding," to protect you from trauma.

For me, comfort food involves what Annie & the angels call brown food. Macaroni and cheese casserole (the kind with eggs and maybe bread crumbs.) Grilled cheese sandwiches. Ice cream and cookies. I think that comfort food in ingrained in your culture and your childhood. It's not necessarily what your mom or dad made (because my mom never made the mac and cheese with eggs), but it's what your mind thinks makes you feel better.

And so, in furthering my efforts to eat like an angel, I am not giving up comfort food. I am not kicking myself for bad choices. However, I am trying to make less bad choices that still meet the need of the small child who wants to get under a blanket and eat M&M's all day. It's not as hard as I thought it would be.

Today, I picked up bread and cheese (a whole wheat nan & sliced Havarti). Then I added a SC tomato that should have been eaten over the sink, some roast beef, horse radish sauce, and a weird southwestern vegetable hummus I found. That was a mess of a sandwich, and it made me feel really good. Full in body and spirit. As an added bonus, I didn't feel the need to shower in Dawn afterwards. I was able to work all afternoon without needing a nap.

This is my intention: when I want comfort, I'll think of the easy lunch I had today.

And, now, I think I'll look up some rice pilaf recipes. Rice is a comfort food....