Thanksgiving Post-Mortem

We had a great two day Thanksgiving. Thursday we went to my husband's parents' house. There were lots of people including my SIL's parents & my other SIL's ex-husband/current friend's sister and her daughter. There was a hodgepodge of food, both traditional and new. My SIL made Swedish apple pie, which was different and delicious. The daughter of the sister of the SIL's ex brought a salad made with pomegranates, coconut, corn, and celery that was really good. The cranberry casserole was exceptional.

I wished that I had taken the left-over cranberry casserole home. BECAUSE, I forgot to make cranberry sauce for the Friday celebration at my brother's house.

No one, except me, really LIKES cranberry sauce, but it is a tradition. Like collards on New Years, everyone takes at least a teaspoon of sauce. I mean nothing says "Plymouth Rock" like cranberries.

My brother spent one Thanksgiving in France. He and his American friends tried to put together a traditional Thanksgiving meal, and they discovered just how American the food is. I don't remember a lot of details, I think they used croutons to make stuffing for the chicken (no turkey.) I'll have to ask him to tell the story again. Anyway, they could not find cranberries. And this made them sad. Even though none of them really like cranberry sauce.

I make cranberry sauce with fresh cranberries and orange juice. I boil them until the cranberries pop. It gels all by itself. This is "the old way." A few years before she died, Mom decided to try a new recipe in which she put cranberries and orange peel in a food processor. I hated it, but she made it. When she died, I made the kind I like, and Dad said, "this isn't the right way to make cranberry sauce." Maybe that's why I forgot this year. Or maybe I was just overwhelmed. Who knows?

So other than the cranberry sauce debacle, I had a great Thanksgiving. I did not eat too much, even though it is true I will not get this food again for another year. I had a tablespoon of everything, and it was a gracious plenty.

Who says you can't eat well during the holidays? Although... there are those Christmas cookies calling my name.

Goodness, it's been awhile...

...since I've written anything in this blog. I'd love to say I've been eating tons of rainbows and lean protein, exercising regularly, and meditating every chance I get. But no, that would not be true.

This week, however, I am eating tons of rainbows. My exercise is limited to getting out of bed and meditation looks a lot like sleeping. But let's stick to the good stuff:

Lack of money, lack of energy, and lack of creativity have led me to eat the same lovely super rainbow salad for lunch every day this week. I am not complaining. It is a mixture of romaine and radicchio with a handful of broccoli, red cabbage & carrot slaw thrown on top. I've added red, yellow, and green peppers & weird interesting toppings like walnuts, dried cranberries, sunflower seeds, and these sesame things on top. The dressing is orange something. Oh, yeah, chopped baked chicken pieces. It's great.

I've also been eating strawberry or blueberry Greek yogurt, because I like it.

I had a sleep study on Sunday night, and I hope to find out if I have sleep apnea or some other easy to treat disorder that is causing me to lose sleep which causes me to be tired, grumpy, fat, and wrinkly. (I'm sure I read somewhere that sleep apnea causes wrinkles. I'm really counting on treatment making me look like I did at 20 --- without the zits. Or the dazed expression.)

My darling husband went to the doctor a while back and the doc said, "Eat less bread and walk 30 minutes a day." He has been doing that (is that a man thing or what?) and has lost about 10-15 lbs (that is a man thing, I know.) I'd like to say I'm inspired by his dedication, but I'm only irritated. I need to get moving, or he'll weigh less than I do. And since he's six inches taller than I am, that would really really suck.

Eating well is the best revenge

We are trying to coordinate the meals, but right now it is playing out that no one is cooking. My son & DIL made sloppy joes at 3 pm, before we got home from work. Bob cooked Bangquet pot pies for us. Mark ate some sloppy joes and a sandwich.

I made a list of a bunch of main dishes & passed it around. I asked them to write "will eat" "won't eat" "will cook" and to come up with more ideas. The list is in the pipeline.

The bottom line is my bottom line... and my youngest son's healthy eating choices. Even if the rest of the adults choose to ignore our plea, we are going to reclaim the rainbow. I hope they join us. I am sorry they are angry. I want my freaking house back.

Sorry... can't imagine where that came from. Oh well.

Family Style Dining

How do you eat well when you are concerned not only with your own nutritional needs and tastes, but the rest of the family as well?

I have a particularly difficult situation right now. My son and daughter-in-love and their two very small children are living with us. In addition, we have a 20 year old and an 11 year old. Add my husband and me, and eight is more than enough.

Even a family with only relatively small children will have food issues. Unless you are a follower of the "I cook it, you eat it" school, you try to factor in various tastes and needs in planning meals. My sister-in-law berated a niece for not eating her cucumbers, acting as if a diet without cucumbers would be fatal. Ironically, when the little girl left the room, SIL said, "I don't eat cucumbers." I say "ironically," be she said it without irony.

As we know, vegetables are important. A nice mix of colorful (did I hear rainbow?) vegetables and fruits is important to eating well. Fortunately, there are lots and lots of fruits and vegetables, so you do not have to eat your spinach unless you want to.

I often hear parents lamenting that their child eats nothing but Lima beans and mac & cheese. I smile and say, I remember that phase. For my children it came right before they discovered salmon steaks and raspberry vinaigrette. My oldest was 10.

Salmon steaks were saved for Grandma's house, but our kids helped pick & prepare the meals at our house. We weren't always consistent & we ate a lot of tacos & spaghetti, but they learned how and why to choose a balanced, interesting diet.

One thing I have done well is to help my children become good eaters. They will try new things, they like variety, they cook, they eat their vegetables. We have done this by never forcing them to eat anything and never engaging in food battles. We offer a variety of food. We try to make healthier choices even though we can't afford the salmon steaks. My children often make better choices than I do. At least they are not prisoners of food like I have been.

So rule number 1: No food fights.
Rule number 2: Model good choices.
Rule number 3: Let your children participate in choice & preparation of the food.

But add new adults into the mix. I love my DOL, but her food culture is not mine. She eats very few vegetables and she fries just about everything. She won't eat a sandwich or a salad. A meal, breakfast lunch or dinner, is a huge undertaking. Every meal is Sunday dinner. I have never seen this much meat in my life.

As we tip-toe around each other, trying not to offend, we end up with hurt feelings and a lack of satisfaction in body and spirit. I know this, but I hate to talk about things. However, something has to give.

I don't want to force her to eat like I do, but I cannot eat like she does. I am overweight and have high blood pressure. I'm very sorry, but I can't eat the fried fish or chicken, the ham soup, the hamburger helper. I can't eat a meal with an ingredient list that starts with "sodium" and then goes on for an inch and a half in Latin.

How do I say this without sounding like a food snob or a whiner? How do I insist on my choices without turning dinner into a food fight or at least a very cold war?

This is where knowing and doing separate. Like food and activity choices, I know what I need to do. I don't know how to take the step... to actually do it. And this is where I really need god & all the angels.

Another leaf another page another day

It's been a very long time since I've written, I know. You can look at my other blog & I'll explain my Facebook Farm Town addiction. I'd like to say I've been really good about eating well and exercising, but no... it's been spotty at best.

I have been eating a lighter lunch so that I don't feel like taking a nap in the afternoon. Well, I still want to nap, but it's not quite as bad. With fresh tomatoes in the garden, it's not hard to choose cheese and tomato on whole wheat flat bread instead of a Hardee's burger. I have pretty much gotten over fast food. And except for a birthday dinner at Applebee's where I managed to get the worst meal possible, I've made good choices in restaurants.

My new goal is to have Michelle Obama's arms. I'm hoping the Secret Service will understand. Arms are actually one of the easiest areas to tone up because the problem is more about flab than fat. At least, for now. My chicken wings haven't gotten to the full bat wings yet.

And to that goal, I bought (you knew that was coming) an exercise mat, an 8-lb. ball, a pilates miracle ring (think Suzanne Sommers), and this weird pilates contraption with a bar and some elastic bands.

And starting today (or tomorrow) I am going to use these things every other day.

AND I am going to walk every single damn day.

And I am going to eat at least a rainbow a day, and it won't be all fried. (Although I can't promise to completely forgo fried okra and fried squash.)

And that is all I have to say about that right now.

Reality Check

After complaining, sort of, about not losing weight, I decided to give myself a reality check.

Although I know the benefit of listing what you eat, at least in the beginning, I really suck at it. I think it may be that I don't want to face the music. And let's be real: if you eat two rainbows, two chili dogs, chicken nuggets, a half a bag of Doritos, and a bowl of ice cream, you are eating TOO MUCH. In fact, two rainbows can be too much if that rainbow includes a pint or two of each fruit. What did we say about moderation?

For today, tomorrow, and Saturday, I am going to write down everything I eat, including portions. I am going to put that list on an Excel spreadsheet (because that's the kind of person I am) and analyze, examine, and observe what, when, why and how I am eating.

Three days is probably not enough time, but that's too bad. Because I know I won't be able to keep it up longer than that.

In addition, I am going to take my medicine like I'm supposed to & move more. I'll see about the yoga class today.

This is my time to think.

Rainbow update

It is not hard to eat a rainbow or two a day in South Carolina in the summer. I think I've said that before. Many days I'll have a complete rainbow in fruits and another in vegetables. The blueberries are particularly good.

I brought home about two dozen tomatoes from my boss's office garden yesterday, and I'm trying to decide what to do with them. Salad and sandwiches of course. I thought about a tomato pie or a tomato sauce. Salsa, maybe. I have okra too, so I could make stewed tomatoes and okra if anyone would eat that other than me. Maybe I'll make gumbo.

I go about my life, eating rainbows and avoiding some of the things that don't make me feel good in the long run (although in the short run, they make me very happy.) I am not losing weight, though. I'm not sure whether it's padding to deal with stress or just stubborn fat.

I do know this: I need to move more. Yeah, it's 99 degrees in the shade at 8 am, but I need to get more activity in my life. That's where I'm going to put my efforts for now. Maybe I can dance with the babies. Or by myself. I'm not proud.

We'll see.

Fresh tomatoes and Havarti cheese

I am almost a vegetarian these days. Not on purpose, because I do like meat, but because that's not what I feel like eating these days.

I am eating a lot of lower fat dairy products. Skim milk, cheese (Havarti is my favorite at the moment), Greek yogurt (thank you Piggly Wiggly), cottage cheese. I had shrimp left overs, and I'm hoping that won't come back to haunt me later today. When in doubt, throw it out. But it's hard to throw out shrimp salad.

The tomatoes in my garden may be ready as we speak. If not, there will be a couple by this afternoon. We've had heavy rains for the last couple of days, and that is a good thing in the summer in South Carolina. Yesterday, I picked a half dozen tomatoes from the garden at work and used one to make a tomato and cheese on whole wheat Nan sandwich. It was yummy and so messy that I used eight of the cheap napkins.

It looks like it will rain all day today. I wonder what rainbows this will bring?

Moderation noun

My son said that when he's under stress he doesn't eat. I know a lot of people like that. Skinny people.

When I am under stress, I eat, but only stuff that is really yucky. OK, I did eat peach ice cream with homemade apricot jelly on it, but that is as close to a wise choice as I got. I am still dutifully logging my shredded iceberg lettuce and tomatoes. At least the tomatoes are good this time of year.

In what is to me an AHA! moment and to most everyone on the planet a DUH? moment, I realized I need to quit buying or allowing my shoppers to buy the chips and the cookies and the cheese nips. None of us need that and I can't refuse it if it's here.

This is the problem (mentally):

1. I don't believe in BAD food, and if a food is labeled BAD, I crave it.
2. I know that some foods are poor choices. Foods with more than two inches of ingredients, most of which are in Latin, for instance. Anything with the first ingredient "sodium" something. Processed cheese-type food.
3. I know that even good things should be enjoyed in moderation.
4. I don't know the meaning of the word moderation.

And so, let us think, think, think (sorry Blues Clues overdose):

mod·era·tion (mäd′ər ā′s̸hən) noun

• a moderating, or bringing within bounds
• avoidance of excesses or extremes
• absence of violence; calmness moderation

Synonyms Restraint, toleration, steadiness, sobriety, coolness, the golden mean, temperateness, quiet, temperance, lenity, patience, sedation, fairness, justice, constraint, forbearance, reasonableness, dispassionateness, poise, balance; see also restraint 1.

Those things do sound peaceful, don't they?

They are words which represent ideals that I believe I value, but which our society often perceives as weak, boring, sedate (that's one of the words, isn't it?)

I feel as if I am arguing with myself. A younger self who wanted to save the world and fight every fight and eat every sandwich and who was very passionate about everything from love to war to a large plate of pasta.

Now, I just want a peaceful place. In my head, in my heart, in my home. I'll stand up for what is right and help people when I can, but from a quiet place. A place of patience, constraint, tolerance, poise, balance, and fairness. An infinitely stronger place than the battlefield.

But then I wonder if I have just gotten old and tired instead of wise. The hurricane still rages. Even when I find the quiet place in the eye, I can hear the winds.

Ever have a blog entry get away from you? Oh well.

Red food

I am in serious need of some red food. I'm not sure how that fits in the chakra --- the base? I guess my foundations need shoring up.

There is a watermelon in a cooler at home and it is calling my name. The strawberries are pretty and sweet. "Stawbeh" is baby Gabe's second favorite fruit, after "Nana." And now that I think of it, I'll bet there's a tomato in the garden behind my office...

All of that sweet fruit (yes, tomatoes are fruit). Outdoor food... the kind you eat in a chair with your face leaning forward over your lap so you only get the juice on your face and arms and neck and not your cute white summer shorts. Just rub the dirt off the tomato and bite into it. Share the drippings with the ants... Pop the strawberries in your mouth and chew as the juice drips out. Are we filming the vampire movie yet? Sweet and wet and better than juicy juice.

Man I need some red food.

Don't go to the grocery store hungry

DUH. We all know that. And yet we still go to the store with our well-planned list and a growly stomach. We buy everything on the list and a couple of Snickers bars for the ride home, plus who knows what else that might taste good if you haven't eaten in a week.



This noon, I went to the store to get something for lunch. I wanted veggies. I wanted something easy that I can microwave and eat. I wanted something that won't make me want a nap. And look: chicken tenders from the deli department, a "steamer" bag of rice with brocolli and carrot dust, AND a bag of dark chocolate & almond candy bars & a Snickers bar for the ride back to work. I suppose it could have been worse.



In other news... a while ago Annie asked me to write about my experiences with Eating the Angel Way so she can pull snippets for her book. I am working on it, trying to be brief, concise, and specific, and god forbid, organized.



What I have been thinking about is:

• how the eating a rainbow a day resonated with me. It is simple and elegant. And I do love colors. My mom often color coordinated meals. Even now I tend to serve orange and dark green veggies with curry. Maybe I need to be a little more daring.


• how after years of spiral dieting, I don't even say the word any more. I don't mean to criticize anyone else dieting, but when I hear the word I get hungry. And not hungry for tomatoes and cheese on wheat bread, but for a pint of Ben & Jerry's Karmel Sutra ice cream.


• how in the years of spiral dieting I lost weight but gained back twice as much. I started out as a "plump" girl and now I'm a fat old woman. I don't even think I was really plump. I had breasts at a fairly young age for back then, & so I was rounder than the skinny girls. What an idiot! Oh well, that's the past.


• how hard it is to find blue food. I keep finding more: blueberries, raddichio, purple cabbage, purple plums, eggplant...


• how I worried in the beginning that I was just checking off the rainbow without "getting" the angel way of eating. For one thing, I often eat a rainbow plus a chili cheese dog and fries. And I hear the demons whispering that anything called a "ho-ho" has to be good. But I think I am hearing something else more and more. My own angels, my heart, my sense of self. Something is leading me toward better choices for myself and not so I'll wow them at my 35th high school reunion. And something is helping me to forgive myself for the Snickers and the chili cheese dog.

For more about Eating the Angel Way from the person who listened to the angels and from her scientifically grounded research assistant, check out Eating...the angel way.

Intentions for a good week

After a fairly colorful weekend, I am about to go back to work after a week off. I'm thinking chocolate chip cookies, but no...

Yesterday I had almost two rainbows again, coming up short on the yellow & Biv and going strong with the green, orange, and red. I nibbled grapes, tomatoes, and carrots all day long. I had an omelet with tomatoes, carrots, squash, & zucchini for breakfast and a salad with every color except yellow with supper.

Eating at work is easier for me than for some people, since I have a kitchen. I'll take the leftover veggies, rice, and tzatziki sauce and some of the salad for lunch. I don't want to be tempted to run to Hardee's for a little thickburger that will make me a little thick worker.

My intentions for this week are to eat at least one rainbow a day and choose food that makes me feel energized and not run down. I intend to eat local as much as possible and to eat fresh, even if I have to cook. I will move every day... walking, heavy cleaning, dancing, or chasing Gabe. Something.

One step forward, two steps back

Yesterday, I started the day with a rainbow: cottage cheese with red strawberry, orange nectarine, yellow banana, green grapes, and purple plum. It was delicious and kept me happy for most of the day.

I had bits of fruit and veggies through out the day. If I keep them ready and on the top shelf of the refrigerator, I eat them.

For dinner I had chicken with tzatziki sauce, modified from a recipe I got at Cinnamon, Spice, & Everything Nice. Since I didn't want to go shopping again, I served it over rice instead of in a pita. And I broiled it in the oven, along with squash. The sauce is great, and is now my official salad dressing. It has cucumbers and Greek yogurt, so my dressing has protein. YAY! The salad was grape tomatoes, shredded carrots, romaine lettuce, green pepper, cucumber, radicchio. (Yellow from squash --- another rainbow plus lots of green.)

I fixed my plate and ate half of it. I was feeling smug right up to the point I took a box of cookies to bed with me. Don't ask me what that's about. I haven't figured it out yet.

I have to remember that it's not just eating a rainbow. That's step one. I also have to choose good protein and not choose the crappy brown stuff. I mean, the cookies weren't even homemade. What happened to don't eat anything that doesn't taste really good?

Oh Well.

Today I try again, and it should be easier since I finished the cookies and the ice cream. (Forgot to mention the ice cream.) I may walk a little this morning. It's only about 95 now. Moving on... moving on...

Eureka

Although my husband still makes fun of eating the angel way, offering me Skittles and going into what he thinks are extremely amusing monologues about chicken being white and beef being red, he is caught.

"Here, eat this, it's blue," he'll say, passing me some radicchio from his salad.

"What color are the garbanzo beans?"

"Did you see the orange carrots?"

My whole family is now searching for colorful fruits and veggies to fill out my plate, and in the process, their own.

Bob has come a long way from the day he poked around a cheese & pasta dish I'd made searching for the meat. He will eat almost anything once. As he got older and since he quit smoking, he can't eat an entire fried chicken by himself. He wants lean meat, fresh veggies, and as little bread as possible. He no longer rebels at the sight of whole wheat pasta or brown rice, as long as it's suffocated by good low-fat (not no-fat) sauces, spices, and herbs.

I cannot stand to have people watching what I eat, but there is nothing better than having a partner in health.

Funeral food

Last night, we went to a funeral and to the supper afterward. The supper was put together by church ladies, and I must say, I love me some church-lady food.

As Bob and I sat down with our groaning plates, Bob grinned at me and said, "Did you see any blue food?" I said, no, but I think I got some of everything else. I realized later that there was no orange food either (unless there were shredded carrots in the chicken casserole).

There was plenty of green --- zucchini, cucumbers, broccoli, green beans, black eyed peas with asparagus --- for the heart. Some of the prettiest red tomatoes, home grown with care. But mostly, yellow food.

They had a whole lot of yellow food. Is it the time of year, or do yellow foods comfort people in time of sorrow?

Sweet corn, squash casserole, squash with zucchini & tomatoes in a vinegar dressing, pineapple congealed salad. I don't usually eat congealed salads, but the lady who made it was standing there, so I had some. It was delicious! I think it had whipped topping stirred in it. I didn't even look at the cakes after this wonderful dessert/salad!

There is something special about funeral food. Cooked by ladies in the church or friends of the family, it is made with the intention of love and comfort for people they don't necessarily know. Whether it is the fried chicken or the rice and sausage or the zucchini/squash/tomato/cucumber salad, it is truly food from the angels. How can it be anything else when it's prepared with so much kindness?

Progress

I'm getting a handle on the to-do list and I haven't had a blow-out since Sunday night. Well, not a big one. I accidentally left the air-conditioner on all night at work, so it's actually cool enough for me. Oops.

Today, so far, I've had strawberries and peaches with cottage cheese, coffee; a redo of the sandwich from yesterday with the hummus and carrots on the side instead of in the sandwich. That's three red, two orange, and a green (I think --- from the hummus.) Lots of good protein.

And now I face the afternoon without that bloated need-a-nap feeling lunch often gives me. Wish me luck. I may even take a walk. Or not.

Comfort food

I am sort of stressing right now. There are a lot of things, many of which aren't really about me. I'm one of those people who stresses more if it isn't really my problem and I can't do anything to fix it. Give me a real crisis and I will be calm and efficient until it's over. Then I'll fall apart.

One of the things that's making me crazy and making it harder for me to cope is that I'm having hot freaking flashes all the damn time. I know, how can you tell in South Carolina in June? I can tell, and so will my husband when he sees the $500 electric bill. (I hope I'm kidding. But let me just turn up the air conditioner.)

So what does this have to do with my eating and exercising? Oh be real. Who eats a nice fresh salad with lots of pretty vegetables and a yogurt-cucumber dressing when she talks to her children about their life plans or lack thereof? Will a rice pilaf really help a daughter-in-law cope with the grief of losing her father? Can I worry about my total lack of money while eating dried rainbow muesli on yogurt?

Well, now that I put it that way, those things sound kind of yummy. But when I'm at work trying to finish up everything plus the three emergencies so that I can get out of town on Thursday afternoon, I don't think salad. I think bread. And cheese. And meat. And sugar.

I have heard from sources I trust that sometimes we need the comfort food to get us through the day or week or month. As one brilliant woman said, "you need the padding," to protect you from trauma.

For me, comfort food involves what Annie & the angels call brown food. Macaroni and cheese casserole (the kind with eggs and maybe bread crumbs.) Grilled cheese sandwiches. Ice cream and cookies. I think that comfort food in ingrained in your culture and your childhood. It's not necessarily what your mom or dad made (because my mom never made the mac and cheese with eggs), but it's what your mind thinks makes you feel better.

And so, in furthering my efforts to eat like an angel, I am not giving up comfort food. I am not kicking myself for bad choices. However, I am trying to make less bad choices that still meet the need of the small child who wants to get under a blanket and eat M&M's all day. It's not as hard as I thought it would be.

Today, I picked up bread and cheese (a whole wheat nan & sliced Havarti). Then I added a SC tomato that should have been eaten over the sink, some roast beef, horse radish sauce, and a weird southwestern vegetable hummus I found. That was a mess of a sandwich, and it made me feel really good. Full in body and spirit. As an added bonus, I didn't feel the need to shower in Dawn afterwards. I was able to work all afternoon without needing a nap.

This is my intention: when I want comfort, I'll think of the easy lunch I had today.

And, now, I think I'll look up some rice pilaf recipes. Rice is a comfort food....

To eat a peach

When T. S. Eliot wondered if he dare to eat a peach, he did not live in SC and it was not June. I know this because, no matter how off your digestive system is, a fully ripe SC peach is worth it.

To enjoy a fully ripe SC peach is a full-sensory experience.

It starts with the color of the peach: creamy yellow to dark orangy-red with what the fashion industry calls peach in the middle. The peach is not a ball; it is off-center, with a ridge along the edge and a pointy end that is almost erotic. Well, Georgia O'Keeffe should have painted peaches.. that's all I'm saying.

And then, you pick it up and feel the soft, slightly fuzzy skin. It's fuzzy like soft velvet, not like bunny slippers. It's soft but firm --- if it's soft and mushy, make ice cream. It will still be good.

Next, put the peach to your nose and inhale gently. If you think you might faint from the joy of it, it's ready to eat. Although I've never been asked to leave the produce department while choosing peaches, I have gotten some looks. And more than one person has said, "I'll have what she's having."

It is now time to eat the peach. You can cut it up, mix it with other fruit, make peach cobbler or peach pie or peach ice cream.

Or you can stand over the sink (this is important) and bite into it. The soft inner fruit melt into your mouth in shades of yellow, orange and red. The sweetness explodes, the juices flow, the world is a better place.

Rinse, repeat, until you understand what T. S. Eliot was worried about, but you think, "Man, that was worth it."

June Rainbow Challenge

Annie has issued a challenge for June:

June Rainbow Challenge how many can YOU eat? here in the northern hemisphere, summer's bounty is beginning. the Angels suggest (and i challenge) everyone to see how many complete rainbows (at least one serving each of a red, orange, yellow, green and blue/purple food) we can all eat in a day. the most i've ever done managed is three - and that includes herbs, spices and teas. send me a note or drop me a comment and let me know you want to play. then, just keep track of how many rainbows you're eating. at the end of the month, the person with the most rainbows will win an Angel-approved prize! happy eating!

I have spent the first week of June at the beach in Hilton Head, SC. Although I have eaten lots and lots of fruit and even a couple of veggies, I didn't really keep track for the first couple of days. And with the challenge of feeding a condo full of people with divergent tastes (10 including two babies), I haven't been able to eat my favorites. It's one thing to fix my husband and two at home sons steamed squash, zucchini, carrots, & onions every other day, but when we add my Dad, niece, other son & daughter-in-law --- well, what can I say? And I didn't want to try to cook too much this vacation.

Toward that goal, we loaded up on fruits which we set out on the counter. Of course we had Romaine lettuce and tomato for the deli sandwiches. We added a little corn on the cob, green beans, new potatoes, and broccoli. I guess it wasn't a complete desert.

And no one can complain about the activity and communing with nature. The kids went from the pool to the beach and back all day long. Bob and I enjoyed a couple of long walks on the beach, with and without the children. I built two sand castles. They weren't record setters, but the were there.

So for this whole week, I think I've had six rainbows. They were mostly fruit, but who's complaining?

A lesson from a stray cat

I once had a cat named Chigger who my mother had rescued from the Rottweiler next door. Chigger was a ginger tabby with a sweet disposition. You wouldn't know he'd been on his own. Unless you left a plastic bag of something on the table.

Chigger would chew through plastic anything and at least try what was inside. It took me a few days to realize that I couldn't leave bread on the counter unless I wanted several cat sized bites take out of various parts of the loaf. He always made several tries at it, as if he thought a different portion would taste better.

On day I received a silk sweater in the mail... I'd ordered it for my aunt for Christmas. I laid it on the table, still wrapped in the plastic in which it had been shipped. I came home from work and... yes.. Chigger had eaten it. Not all of it, just three or four holes to see if maybe the sleeve tasted better than the cowl.

Now, what lesson did I learn, other than "Put away your stuff?"

I learned what happens when a creature is denied food even for a little while as a young kitten. Chigger had learned that food comes in plastic, mostly garbage bags. And even though he had a bowl of cat food that was always full, he still went after anything in plastic. As god as his witness, he would never go hungry again. (He would eat turnips, though.)

I have been thinking about Chigger recently, in different contexts, in different ways. When I read today's post on Eating the Angel Way, I thought about him again and it sort of came together.

Annie writes:

it took me a few tries to stop wanting to eat a plateful of potatoes, but there
came a point when, as i was putting them on my plate, i actually paused and
remembered how stuffed i started to feel after eating about half of my usual
portion size. and then a minor miracle happened - for me anyway - i CHOSE of my
own volition to put a reasonably-sized "serving size" portion - on my plate of a
food that previously the only way i could control myself with it was to deny
myself. the Angels had helped me to learn what my body felt like when IT had
"enough" and i was able to choose THAT feeling over the less-healthy one, not
because anyone told me i had to - but because i liked it. and i was satisfied
with it.. and, what was even more of a miracle - i didn't go back for
seconds.

It occurred to me that when I serve myself a reasonable "serving" with the intent of EATING RIGHT, I don't think of what I have, I think of what I don't have. I think of all of that wonderful food that someone else will eat if I don't get it first. I have never every been starving (except for the colonoscopy preps & a couple of fad diets). I can afford to buy just about anything I want (as long as I continue not to want truffles & caviar). The food will be there when I want it. So what's this about?

I'll think on that awhile.

Never say diet

I've heard from lots of people dozens of people a couple of people who have mentioned their Diets. I don't like to use that word, except in a very generic way or in relation to Diet Coke. Why? Because whenever I hear or read the word Diet, I get hungry.

I may have mentioned this... but I once worked with a woman who went on a medifast type diet. She bought $300 worth of shakes and bars and other really yucky looking stuff. She ate that at work. I felt compelled to make up for the imbalance in the food vortex by eating chili cheese dogs with extra onions. I don't know if she lost weight (other than from her wallet) but I gained weight. I was sort of pissed at myself, too, because I'd lost 20 lbs by eating mindfully and asking myself, "Do you really want the chili cheese dog with extra onions? Does it want you? OK, then, do you really want TWO?"

To all dieters (and to paraphrase Leonard Cohen, who was not talking about dieting): I've been where you're hanging and think I can see how you're pinned. I have Dieted. I have lost and I have regained. I have even fasted for very short periods of time (not counting the colonoscopy prep).

I was first told I was fat when I was about 6. I think the word was "baby fat" but let me tell you a secret. I wasn't fat. I wasn't even chubby. When I think about this now, I'm pissed off even more. Too bad being ticked doesn't use that many calories.

When I was in middle school, a time full of memories I had mostly repressed, my friend told me that fat girls like us shouldn't wear our shirts tucked in. Even though I knew she wasn't fat (maybe a little square shaped), I bought it and wore my shirt out for the next ... oh twenty years. I also wore those horrible smock things that were so popular in the mid-70s middle school crowd (along with "wings" in the hair). Who doesn't look fat in that?

I went through school thinking of myself as fat. After all, I couldn't see my feet. Of course, that might have been because I had breasts. I'm wondering if that might have had something to do with why my mom and my friends suggested I wear mumus. Hmmmm...

My parents often dieted, although I wasn't sure why Mom thought she needed to lose weight, and Dad seemed to gain weight when he dieted. I remember the weight charts on the wall of the bathroom. (See where I got my love of charts & other visual aids?) Dieting was what you did.

I remember my first diet book: Susan Dey writing about how she went from being a chubby kid to a svelte star of the Partridge Family. I followed her plan, although I can't remember what it was. I'm sure it involved salads with no dressing and dry toast. I shudder to think.

I tried the Woman Doctor's diet for Women. That was harsh. She seemed to believe that women are just fat sponges and the only way to defeat that is to avoid any food that tastes good. I did learn something from that book. Women and men are different (duh, they say, that explains the three children). No really... as Annie discusses in her post men are like raindrops, women are like snowflakes, men and women gain and lose weight differently. It took me awhile to figure out the part about how each woman gains and loses differently.

Although that plan was very restrictive, it was probably better than some of the other ones I've done.

• The grapefruit diet (self-explanatory)
• The dead doctor diet (Scarsdale diet, right after he'd been shot by his mistress the school mistress. Very specific diet and if she was on it, it explains her rage.)
• Low carb when low carb wasn't cool. (Think "all the cool whip you can eat.")
• Low carb when it was cool. I gained 10 lbs on the South Beach diet.
• The Duke rice diet (not at Duke.)
• The eat-one-lean-cuisine a day, ride an exercise bike for an hour a day and then go to Group Therapy and drink lots and lots of light beer until closing. I lost a good bit of weight on this one, but the side effects were unpleasant. I don't really remember them, but some people have pictures.

So now I try to learn the lessons of years of dieting.

This, I know:

1. I can only lose weight for myself.
2. If I lose weight, I won't suddenly be an extrovert, an organized person, or a ballerina.
3. If something is forbidden, I WANT IT!
4. Starving isn't pretty.
5. There are no bad foods. There are some not so hot foods.
6. I don't want to waste calories on food I don't like.
7. I don't want to eat food that makes me feel like taking a shower afterwards.
8. I LIKE fruits and veggies.
9. Eat your dessert first, if that's what you want.
10. Enjoy every sandwich.

Sunday

Sunday is grocery store day. If I go from 10:30 to 12:30, I can miss the church-goers and the people who don't go out Sunday morning because they don't want to admit they don't go to church. It's a really quiet time around here.

In order to do that, I need to plan my food-week.

I go back and forth on the plan the food week thing. Sometimes I get the whole family together and we brainstorm meal plans and make a week-long list. We have a fridge full of food, a menu for the week, a work schedule.. all pretty and color coded on a calendar. (I do love a color coded calendar.) Then Monday will come and one of us will say, "I really don't feel like tacos today." And the whole menu falls apart. I end up with a refrigerator full of mushy veggies.

My other food plan theory is to decide what to make in the afternoon & run by the store & the produce stand on the way home. Sometimes I go to the produce stand for inspiration. But then there are the days I don't feel like pulling off the road on the way home from work. Those are usually Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. And so the family sticks its collective head in the freezer and we eat frozen burritos, chicken nuggets, and mac & cheese.

The food plan that works best is in the middle. I buy Tyson grilled chicken strips, burritos, & hamburger for the freezer. I keep canned tuna and chicken on hand. I have frozen veggies and canned veggies. I have cheese, sour cream, yogurt & salad dressings. And of course, pasta, rice, couscous & bread.

Then I plan regular meal ideas & pick up the fresh stuff every other day or so. More fresh veggies, fewer mushed science projects.

An eating good stuff tip (although I don't know if it's a tip if it's this obvious): put the fresh fruit and veggies in an easily accessible place, even on the counter for the short term. I've had strawberries turn to science projects in the back of my fridge when if I'd put them on the top shelf or on the counter, they would have been gone in a day. What a waste.

Another: when the fruit is about to go and you can't convince anyone to eat it, throw it in a freezer bag & use it for smoothies later. I have enough bananas to make smoothies & banana bread for an army. Oh yeah, tip three: actually USE the frozen fruit.

Cravings

In Eating the Angel Way, Annie asked (among other things) what do you do about cravings?

There have been times in my life when I have had a box of Wedding Cookies, a large bag of peanut M & M's & a quart of ice cream on my bed behind my closed door, as I tried to make myself feel better. Other times there have been extra-large bags of Cheetos, pasta with mayonnaise (what?), & a bag of jelly beans.

I think I ate in secret, not because I was ashamed, but because I didn't want to share. When we were kids, Mom would divide the cookies into three boxes so my brother & sister & I wouldn't fight over them. Until she did that, I'd eat what I could before anyone else could get it, like a starved dog or a child of the street. Even though I knew there would always be more (no matter what Mom threatened.) It didn't make sense.

I makes less sense now that I buy the groceries and don't have to ask anyone or answer to anyone (shut up Bob, I'll eat as much ice cream as I freakin' want).

Then there were the days of diets, when I would not allow myself to eat certain things. Dry salads, toast with a teaspoon of peanut butter, a single hamburger patty with NOTHING. I shudder to think. And of course, the inevitable moment when I'd just go ahead and scarf the entire bag of crunchy Cheetos.

So now that I'm grown up (shut up!) I don't d-word. I don't have bad foods. I don't hoard food (no matter what anyone may think of the Pepperidge Farms macadamia nut cookies in my bra drawer --- hey! It's Pepperidge Farms. I bought the kids Oreos.) Any way... back to cravings.

On a side note... what's with these magazines and their "healthy substitutions"?

• Instead of an Extra Large Snickers Candy Bar, have a jelly bean, save a gazillion calories.
• Instead of scallops & shrimp with alfredo sauce and fettuccine, have a rice cake with plain tuna.
• Instead of homemade coffee ice cream, have a whole wheat cracker.

What the ??????

What I do now is think about my cravings. Do I want something sweet? Chocolate or jelly bean sweet? Salty or spicy? Crunchy or smooth? I spend a good bit of time imagining eating food, to figure out what it is that I really really want.

So, no, a whole wheat cracker won't do if I want a gallon of coffee ice cream. But a small cup might do. And a low-fat latte might also, but why bother? And if I want sour cream, I eat sour cream, but not a whole carton.

If I know what sensation I want, I can figure out how to get it without breaking the calorie bank, or my stomach. And so I don't do the serial binge... do I want chocolate? *Eat a Snickers* nope. do I want salty? *eat a bag of chips* nope. do I want creamy? *eat a jar of mayonnaise (What?)* oh yeah, that was it.

I still may eat for the wrong reasons. I still eat what I don't really want because it's there. Or on television. But at least I think about it.

Monday

At the risk of boring the hell out of everyone, this is what I've eaten today:

7:00 a.m. coffee
8:30 a.m. more coffee
12:30 1/2 a turkey & Swiss on some sort of whole wheat roll with mustard, lettuce, and tomato
carrot chips
diet Coke

I am feeling like death warmed over. It is rainy and actually COLD! outside. I am working on a tax return for a non-profit organization, and thinking how I can't possibly charge them what it's worth, because I'm a sucker.

I took my meds this morning (for low thyroid and high blood pressure) so there isn't a good reason for me to feel like crap, except maybe the pig with the runny nose I French-kissed over the weekend.

Oh well, back to work. I think I have some pineapple in the fridge.

Addendum (4:20 p.m.)

2:30 pineapple, blueberry, blackberry, & strawberry with plain lowfat yogurt
3:30 handful of snack mix (crunchy cheetoes, sun chips, pretzels, doritoes)
diet coke

Time to go home now. I think I'll crawl into bed and read more library books.

Following the rainbow... again

Monday I ate THREE whole rainbows. I was at work, so that's pretty impressive. I doubled the rainbow with a colorful tuna salad (tuna with red, yellow, & orange peppers & celery) on a colorful regular salad (romaine & radicchio, baby corn, grape tomatoes, & the pepper mix). For dinner I had mac&cheese with peas&carrots. I had vanilla yogurt with the dried rainbow muesli for breakfast. I'm pretty sure I got three rainbows all together.

I've managed a rainbow each of the other days.

It's easier to eat rainbows in the spring and summer. I visit the produce stand near work, or the well-stocked produce department at Bi-Lo. There is something about warm weather that makes me want to eat grapes, pears, peaches (I can't wait!), blueberries, strawberries....

I am going to explore the rainbow spices this week. Don't warn my kids.

Bless my heart...

OK, in my quest for quirky ways to get motivated, I've found www.flylady.com which is supposed to help me clean my house and improve my health. Cool, huh?

Anyway, May is move in May month or something like that. When you log in your minutes, they add it to everyone else's and tell you where you've gone. Cute, but I want to know where I've gone, not the 10 billion other people.

SOOOOO... I am walking to San Francisco. I can't find a cool Internet thingy that will let me pick where I live and where I want to go and let me fill in the miles as I go. Someone ought to make one of those. For free.

I have a map & mileage on an Excel spreadsheet. I am going to track my miles. Today I plan to walk about a mile. I think it will take me three years to get to San Francisco, but who knows, I might have some longer walks along the way. I don't want to blow my wad on the first day. :D

In other exciting news, I cleaned the bathroom while Gabe played in the tub. I feel soooo very GOOD, I think I'll take a nap.

The chart

I kept the food journal (more or less) for a week. It was not a good week.

I made a chart (using my ultra-fine sharpies) with the date, ROYGBiv, brown (grains & stuff), and white for protein. My husband glanced over and said, "kind of back loaded there, huh?" I nodded.

Last week, I ate a good bit of fruit, but the veggies were limited to squash casserole and green beans (cooked with pork) at Lizard's Thicket & the lettuce and tomato on the burgers and chicken sandwiches.

The brown was mostly whole grain, because that's what I eat. Well, except the white bread rolls for the burgers and the white pasta with the mac&cheese from Lizard's Thicket.

The protein, aside from the above mentioned burgers, as maybe not so bad. Lean, for the most part. Still... country fried steak probably is NOT on any angel's menu.

So this week, I am preparing good lunches for work so I won't be tempted to run to Hardee's. I am going to eat a good colorful breakfast. I have a muesli I made with dried bananas, cranberries, blueberries, raisins and dates. When I put it on yogurt with a little honey, it is really good (I'm not just saying that to make myself believe it) and it will keep me full most of the day. I also have whole wheat English muffins, peanut butter, and bananas. And then, for special occasions, breakfast burritos with egg, diced red, yellow, orange, & green peppers, & cheese. And a blueberry smoothie to get that elusive Biv in the day.

I have joined the 20th century (and can almost see the 21st) by purchasing a Blackberry curve. I am going to use it to keep track of my meals, as soon as I figure out how. Right now, I'm having a little trouble answering the phone.

The journal

OK, I got a cute little notebook for my food list. It's about three inches square with graph paper inside it. Cool.

And I've written what I've eaten for the last two days. Not so cool. Keebler cookies play a large role. They aren't even very good. Why waste calories on nasty cookies?

And, in case you thought there was ANY hope, this was lunch (from Lizard's Thicket):

• chicken fried steak
• mac & cheese casserole (the kind baked with eggs and extra butter)
• squash casserole (the kind baked with cheese, eggs, and extra butter)
• green beans (cooked with pork)
• corn bread (extra butter)
• sweet tea

I usually drink unsweetened tea, but if you ask for unsweetened tea at a place like Lizard's Thicket, it is sooo nasty it might as well be instant. The only restaurant that has good unsweetened tea around here is the Indian restaurant in 5-points. They make their tea with cloves and other spices so it almost tastes sweet. I need to go there next week...

I'm going to work on the meditation part. I've grabbed a mandala from coloring castle. This idea/exercise is thanks to Dina. I don't think I'll fall asleep while coloring.

Eating the Angel Way --- the blog

http://eatingtheangelway.blogspot.com/

Annie has started a new blog dedicated to Eating the Angel Way, which she is writing with her research assistant. As she says, it's not all "woo-woo," the angels know their science and nutrition.

For those of us who have struggled with weight and food issues, this is a godsend. (No pun intended, I guess.) For me, the guidelines are liberatingly simple.

Of course, sometimes it's easier to follow someone else's strict plan, to eat nothing but grapefruit and rice, or to pop a pre-made meal in the microwave.

ETAW demands personal responsibility. Listen to your body. Eat what you need. Make a decision, for Pete's sake.

Don't blame the mean girls in middle school. (They are all either fatter than you or meth-head skeletons now anyway.) Don't blame your mother, even if she did start each day by asking you "do you need to eat that?" Don't blame Aunt Annie, who embraced you in her size X-to-the-10th-power-L loving arms and offered you cake with peeps whenever you walked into the room.

This is about you. You and that tablespoon full of mayonnaise.

The first step is meditation, to become aware of your body. To feel breathing. To remember hunger. I have trouble meditating because I fall asleep. I had a 5 minute CAT scan and fell asleep on the little tube you have to lie on. That's another issue...

The second step is keeping track of what you eat, plot it, think about it, put it on a color coded Excel spread sheet --- I made the last part up. I love me some color coded Excel spreadsheets. I don't love keeping track of my eating. I lie to myself and my little notebook. That's another issue...

I encourage y'all to check out Eating the Angel Way.. the blog. I'll try to be amusing as I follow along and share my adventure. Let me know how it's going for you. I'm nosy. But that's another issue...

After the rain there's a rainbow

and all of the colors are black... no, that's not what I want.

It's spring, when even the clothes looks like a fruit stand. If that doesn't inspire me to eat a rainbow every day, what will?

The fridge, also called the graveyard of good intentions, needs some serious attention today. There are some things that used to be red, orange, yellow, green, and purple, but are now sort of fuzzy white/green/blue. Science experiments gone wrong.

The freezer is packed full of cooking experiences that weren't quite great enough to eat the second time. I always cook too much and rarely eat or serve left overs. One of these habits has to go.

About half the freezer space is packed with mashed bananas that were about to go bad. I keep meaning to make banana bread or something. Maybe next week.

This week, I'm back to the Angel way of eating. And I'm waiting patiently for Annie's new blog, the Angel Way of Eating. I'll keep you informed...

New day

In the past month I haven't eaten anything that wasn't white or brown food except for some wilted lettuce and soggy tomatoes on my Zaxby grilled chicken sandwiches. Oh yeah, I ate fruit on Easter, but that was a special day.

Tax season stress seemed to demand a high protein high carb diet. Weird, huh? Like a marathon runner carb loading before a big race. Only, I just raced around my office saying, "It is not possible to lose a file in an office this small. It is somewhere. Oh, how did it get in the fridge?"

I wonder if I'm ready for the real world again. Maybe. I do sort of feel like Dorothy stepping into Oz... ooh look at the colors! Did I miss the azaleas? A violet!

On we go...

Food Journals

For many people, food journals are a very helpful tool in losing weight or eating in a more healthy manner. Almost all diet programs suggest you start with a food journal. I've heard (or read) many people say that just the act of keeping a journal will help them lose weight.

Journals help you realize just how much you are eating: "Wow, cleaning up the kids' mac & cheese really adds up."

They can encourage you to make healthy choices: "Do I want to eat that enough to write it in my journal?"

They can help you realize your eating habits, like the bag of cookies you eat when you talk to your mother on the phone.

I, however, am not most people. I am perverse. As I have mentioned, just saying the "D" word can make me gain 5 lbs. I set my intention to eating a healthy variety of fruits, veggies, and lean protein --- food I actually LIKE, and suddenly I cannot resist the Hardee's Omelet Biscuit with large fried potato things. What's that about?

I was just looking at a food journal I kept for about a week this summer. I had been eating the angel way for about a week, I guess, and decided to keep track. KABOOM! Day one: cottage cheese with lots of pretty fruit (which I LOVE); turkey on wheat with spinach & tomatoes; tacos with lots of veggies. Day two: Whopper with large fries. Day three: Hardee's biscuit. Still ate a lot of fruit and veggies, but I'm thinking the Whopper/biscuit/Quarter pounder with cheese was NOT what the angels had in mind.

Unlike most people, I am not intimidated by the food journal. One: I will lie to my journal. Why not? Two: Even if I write the truth, and even if I publish that on-line or at weight watchers or whatever, I don't care what other people think. No one has scolded me about what I eat in many years, but the early training made me immune to scolding. Kathy, do you need that? Kathy, is that on your diet? Kathy, do you have to eat the whole carton of Breyers Ice Cream in one sitting? Yup, yup, yup. Thanks for asking.

I still start up food journals all the time. I love journals. I love food. Perfect match. Maybe some day I'll find a way to journal that helps me with my food fetishes. Hope springs eternal.. and there is always a journal sale at Barnes & Noble...

Friday

I am thinking yogurt and pineapple. See the yellow food thing happening? This is what happens when an introvert is forced into a customer service job for 9 hours a day. I am really drained.

No walking to speak of, unless you call pacing around the office like a chicken with my head cut off, searching for the pen/piece of paper/check I just had and put some place but where? exercise. I think it counts. I'll call it the severly distracted exercise plan. 10 thousand steps to no where.

Not complaining. It's Friday. Although I work tomorrow, I am feeling less stressed than I have been. I think it's the yellow food.

A journey of a thousand miles ...

... begins with a single step. Or in my case, 5647 steps. That's what I ended up with last night. I took a few more before and after the pedometer, but that's close enough.

Part of that came from a quick walk around the yard at work. The yard is about an acre. The day was pleasant, the birds were singing, the snakes were still sleeping. I stomped around, aerating the yard with my red high heel boots. It was nice.

Last night we ate sour cream chicken enchiladas from a recipe I found on Cinnamon & Spice and everything nice. It was a big hit and has made it to the "have again" list. This dispels any rumors that I am on a DIET. I only use real sour cream. I do try to eat a moderate amount of the food though, and this was filling. With a nice salad on the side --- I had planned to serve a rainbow three bean + salad (canned yellow wax beans, canned green beans, canned dark red kidney beans, grape tomatoes, chopped canned beets over romaine & radicchio) but didn't. We were in the middle of a RISK game (with a real board and real people) and I forgot about it.

I also made Rainbo Gumbo.

• I started with the Cajun trinity --- chopped celery, chopped green bell peppers, chopped (purple) onion sauteed in olive oil.
• I added red pepper (cayenne), garlic, and chili powder.
• I added chopped chicken and chicken sausage. Andouille is usually used, but I was keeping the meat to chicken and shrimp.
• More pepper-type spice.
• Next, I added chopped tomatoes (I used canned) and okra. To make it a Rainbo, I added shredded carrots and yellow squash.
• Stir, smell, taste and... more pepper spices.
• I needed chicken broth to make the gumbo the right texture --- somewhere between soup and stew. The last thing was the peeled shrimp.

Note: When we put the food up, there was a good bit of broth. My darling husband put it in a glass & drank it. He said that it was like V-8 with spice and chicken broth, and that was what V-8 had been missing. I'm not recommending that necessarily, but....

Shredded carrots are a real go-to food if you are trying to sneak in veggies. They can be added to chili, gumbo, casseroles, salads, even pancakes (although that might be weird). Just mix 'em in. Carrots are a sweet vegetable, so most kids like them if they don't think too hard.

Today's walking goal: let's break 6000! I am sooo close.

Foot steps

On the first day of wearing my new pedometer, I logged about 1500 footsteps. On the second day, I logged 2500, but I put it on earlier. So I'm thinking I need to walk about four or five times MORE than I am walking.

Yesterday was a good day for me, in that I took the day off from one job and completed all of the work I needed to do in the other. I am ready to face today, back to the first job. Yesterday was not great in the eat right department. Oh well. Today is a new day. I think it is a yellow and orange day. Maybe red. I can't forget the red.

If you miss the train I'm on...

you will know I have NOT gone 500 miles, or even 10,000 footsteps. I forgot my pedometer, and my mileage was back and forth from the copier. Today, I wear the pedometer. I haven't put it on yet, so give me a few footsteps around the house... pathetically few.

Since I'm feeling really pissy today, I may walk 10,000 footsteps AWAY from my job and not turn back. But I doubt it. I'd just have to send someone for my minivan.

Renorming

The thought that has come in to my head recently, through my own comments to other, through magazine articles, through drifting considerations, is that I need to "re norm" my body again.

A month of mindful eating helps me get focused on my habits. Just by paying attention, I lost 10 lbs. But, the little thoughts say, that's really not enough. Oh, yeah, it's great to be merely "overweight" and not "obese," but if I want to dance at Brendon's wedding (and we're talking about a 6 month old here), I need to do more.

And I know what I need to do, too. Move. Not away from SC. Just move. Get up and dance. Get up and walk around the yard. Run up and down the stairs. I need to get moving to move the weight.

(Notice, I am avoiding the "E" word as well as the "D" word.)

So I think I'll pull out my cheap (free) pedometer and aim for 10,000 steps. I'll keep in mind that with this pedometer, going to the bathroom (pulling my pants down and up) counts as about 6 steps. But what's six steps (or 36) when you're talking 10,000 steps.

Here we go: Tomorrow is week one, day one of the 10,000 step challenge.

On the rainbow front: I've got all sorts of rainbow things happening. Mark pointed out that I don't have to eat an entire rainbow in each dish, and I suppose he's right. I'm just a casserole queen.

I'm also concentrating on yellow and orange, because that's what I want and because I have to deal with people all of the damn time these days.

Week four, day five

My three weeks of eating the angel way ended last Wednesday, but I'm still doing it. As Annie said, just try to get the rainbow in, if it's a bad day. And I've had a couple of bad days. And I responded by eating a Hardee's omelet biscuit. Amazingly enough, it didn't do it for me. So I ate some cottage cheese & pineapple. That was good.

Confiserie by John Duffy


I have been eating banana chips at work. I have never gone for them, since they are pretty high in calories, made with added sugar (why, I ask) and oil. But now I'm addicted. And as I was eating one the other day, I thought, "This would be really good with mayonnaise." Go figure.

I guess the yellow food makes sense. I am an introvert who is compelled to interact with people five and a half days a week. I need the yellow food to help me cope. I'm doing OK. I will not complain (too much) about the choice I made. I just need a snow day. And some more yellow food.

Wednesday

Wednesdays are "hump" days, which is probably why my husband likes them so much... no wait, that isn't what I was going to write about.

Yesterday, I was sick. I was sick because (I am pretty sure) I haven't been taking my blood pressure medicine every day. I woke up with a really bad headache. I have a lot of headaches, and usually a terrifying cocktail of Alka-seltzer & ibuprofen will take care of it. Yesterday, no. So, I decided to take my blood pressure. I'm not sure why. It was 160/112, which is not good.

I hate taking blood pressure medicine, and really hope that through healthy eating, exercise (in fact as well as theory), and meditation (ditto), I can get to the point where I can control the bp without the meds. I am not there yet. And if I get stupid and don't take the meds, I threaten my health is a very serious way.

So here I am, having taken my medication like a good girl. I have been drinking lots of water. I have eaten a rainbow today, with nice lean protein. I went to the Bi-Lo this morning and shopped for work. When I left, I realized I had not gone down a central aisle. I stayed on the periphery: bakery, produce, dairy, deli.

I feel much better. I still don't have time to do everything. I have "fired" a client, but I was sweet about it. I have spent too much time organizing, sorting, and sifting and not enough producing revenue, but what the heck? I'm alive.