In search of Fortified Oat Flakes

I bought a box of Kashi Heart to Heart with oat clusters and blueberries, even though I've never really liked Kashi.  It's not that I'm doing a "I SHOULD eat this" thing.  It's that I'm looking for cereal that tastes like Fortified Oat Flakes.

Many years ago, when I was about 12, I ate Fortified Oat Flakes every morning for a couple of years.  I don't know why Mom bought it, maybe she was having a "I should eat this" thing.  I think I was the only one who ate it... in the whole world.  I loved it. 

It was sort of nutty and chewy, although it was only flakes.  No clusters, no dried fruit.  If you left it in the milk, it would get nice and soggy.  Just to prove it wasn't for babies, if you saved up box tops and mailed it in, you didn't get toys.  I got a silver plated (looking?) pie cutter/server for my mom.  Someone still has it.  You'd never guess it came from box tops.

Then it just disappeared.  This was before oat meal became a magic food, and I don't remember anyone talking about cholesterol.  I suppose they might have, but I was 12.  All I knew is that, like the Monkees, the Monster Squad, and all my favorite TV shows that got canceled, my cereal was popular only with me. 

So now I am searching for the cereal.  You'd think that now that oat is a magic bullet someone would pull out the old recipe.  Without the clusters or dried fruit.  I'll add my own.

The Kashi is pretty good, by the way, but it doesn't get soggy.  SIGH.

Winter Rainbows

I got really excited in the produce department the other day.  Even though it's fall almost winter and it's actually been chilly, the produce department was a bright kaleidoscope of interesting fruits and vegetables.

I like the idea of winter vegetables more than the reality.  I don't know what to do with some of these things.  But they are pretty.  And so last week, I decided to roast a bunch of pretty colored winter vegetables.

I got rutabaga (like, what's that about?), pumpkin (not in a can and not for decoration), acorn squash, and potatoes.  But not just any potatoes.  Purple, yellow, and red potatoes.  OK, it's the purple ones that were really cool.  I cut everything up into large chunks (not nearly as easy as cutting, say, broccoli), drizzled olive oil over the whole thing and baked it.  I wasn't sure what to do to spice it up.  I used cinnamon on the winter squashes and Italian seasoning on the potatoes and rutabagas.  Everyone like it, pretty much.  Although everyone agreed that as usual, I went over board. 

Note to self:  you don't have to eat a rainbow at every meal, just throughout the day.

Supper conversation goes like this:

Bob:  Kathy, I appear to be eating a purple potato.

Me:  Um, yeah.  Do you like it?

Bob:  It's a potato.

OK.  That went well.  I can't wait to try the purple cauliflower.

Starting Slowly

Yesterday, I was in a super-di-duperdy crappy mood.  Given that, I think I did ok.  At least I kept track of what I ate (start small, rule 1). 

I started drinking coffee around 8 and kept going until about noon.  Black, strong enough to fix itself.

10 am  blueberry Greek yogurt.  Yummy.  It's so smooth it feels like ice cream.  My grandson Gabe has decided he loves Greek yogurt too.  I may be selfish, but I share that.

Around 12 I had brown rice/quinoa mix, pico de gallo (tomatoes, yellow onions, green peppers, cilantro, lime juice), shredded carrots, canned corn without added salt, tilapia with garlic and butter, cranberries. I bought all that stuff at the grocery store on the way to work and put it together.  As I walk through the produce section I think about what I want.  The cranberries were a neat touch.

2 pm I ate a piece of butterscotch candy.

I drank diet Coke all afternoon... well one bottle.

5pm at home.  I ate two chocolate chip cookies. 

6:30: spaghetti sauce (made with red, yellow, orange & green peppers) on white wheat bread with cheddar.  I don't really like white bread, even the "whole grain" kind, but that's what was there.

And then I ate about an inch out of a pint of Karamel Sutra.  At least I didn't eat the whole thing, and I do think that what I did eat made me feel better.  Some.

TODAY:

coffee
10: Peach Greek yogurt
diet Coke
2pm: Wendys small cheese burger, four fries, small chili.  My boss bought lunch.  It was pretty good and not too much.  A couple of fries go a long way.  I waited too long to eat and I was too hungry.
5pm: two chocolate chip cookies.  I'm still burping chili. 

I'm going to my counselor at 6, and I may eat yogurt or soup after I get back.

I don't think I've left anything off. 

I tried the meditation this afternoon.  (It's on Eating the Angel Way.)  I thought about being a baby and eating whatever was given me, not worrying about food choices.  I don't think I went very far, but I started to sort of panic.  I think I have food issues.  (Ya think?)  I'll try again later.

Eating... the Angel Way: Welcome!

Eating... the Angel Way: Welcome!

Annie and Karen are writing a book about Eating... the Angel Way, and I have agreed to follow the guidelines and share my experiences.

Let me start by saying that I have been following the guidelines for several months now... in theory. Just like I'm thinking seriously about going to the gym I paid a boatload of money to join last July. And so, this is, for me, a restart sort of. I'm starting at the beginning... again. Isn't that cool?

Today, tomorrow, and the next day, I will keep track of my eating. I will probably follow the guidelines even though it's not part of the first step because I usually do when I actually write stuff down.

I'll say this is going to be interesting because I'm in a really really really crappy place right now and all I want to do is crawl in bed with a pint of Chunky Monkey and a large bag of peanut m&ms. I'm not going to do that because there are so damn many people in my house I'd probably have to share, so what's the point?

But Eating... the Angel Way is not something we can only do when we feel really perky. Right now, for me to acknowledge that I want the Chunky Monkey and peanut m&ms is a pretty good step, I think. I suppose I ought to think about what it is I really want. What food will make me feel really good. What things other than food can help me deal with my very very crappy mood. Maybe I should right a children's book: "Mommy is in a crappy mood and I better not eat her peanut M&Ms." I think that might help.

We'll see.

Hey look, I'm still alive!

And still fat.  Oh well.  I'm eating better and betterer every day.  Except today, when I ate a half of a steak, egg, and cheese biscuit while reading about my arteries clogging.  That's why I only ate a half.  Ick.

Fall is here, sort of, and that means the summer fruits and veggies are more expensive and shipped from Chile.  Which is OK, I guess.  I have nothing against canned or frozen food, although I have to check the salt in canned stuff.  I love frozen berries.  Throw 'em in a blender with yogurt and honey and you have a smoothie in a minute.  Who knows the difference?

But fall does have it's own food, and I'm looking forward to that.

Fall is about orange and yellow and brown, have you noticed?  I love winter squash, but I haven't done much with it because my family isn't a big fan base.  Oh well.  I think I'll try use more winter squash and see if I can convince them they like it.

There is a yard full of collards behind my office.  I've been invited to go pick some, but I'm not sure how to pick it.  I guess you sort of cut the bunch.  I hate to say it, but I'll probably buy my greens at the store.  They are cheap and I'm wearing high heels and hose.

I have actually lost a little weight this summer... about 10 lbs.  We joined a gym in August.  We actually went to it for a few weeks.  I know, I know.  We have to actually use it or the only weight we lose is in the wallet.  I'm thinking maybe Friday.  Or Monday.  Definitely Monday.

Peace to all.  Drink lots of water and wear warm socks.

Travel through food

Today, I ate my first peach of the season.  It wasn't quite ready to make me have an orgasm as I ate it over the sink, but it was pretty good.  Now I am eating Greek yogurt with honey, nuts, and a rainbow of fresh fruit.  I am pretending that I am in Marrakesh.

Unfortunately, I am not in Marrakesh, I am in my office and it's time to do some tax returns for people who procrastinate.  And that's OK, because I still have my yogurt, honey, nuts and fruit.

Day two

Yesterday I was marvelous.  I had two rainbows and not a lot of other crap to cloud it up.  Lots of lean protein.  I walked for half an hour with my husband... up hill all the way!!!  (It just seemed that way.  I'm in really bad shape.)

Today, I'm OK.  I had fish, squash casserole, beets, and cabbage at Lizard's Thicket, which is as good as it gets there.  I would have done better with the baked chicken, but I HATE baked chicken.  I think I'll go with a very veggie salad tonight.  I have a meeting, so I'll be eating later than I like.

The weather is beautiful... windy and warm.  Not so hot & humid you can see fish in the air.  There is no excuse not to walk around, even if it is all up hill.

Two days in a row!  Woo-hoo!

No really, this time I mean it...

Dear Diary:


This time I really am going to walk and lift weights and do yoga and eat nothing but delicious healthy food and loose 20 lbs before school is out...


Yeah right

Today read Kim's post about weight.  I know she eats well, and much more healthily (is that the word?) than I do.  I know she is more active.   As she says, most people think she is a ball of energy.   And yet, she thinks she needs to do something.... different.

Her post sort of solidified something I've been thinking about me.  I talk a good game, but when it comes to actually eating well... not so much.

It's not that I don't eat vegetables and fruits, low fat dairy and high-fiber foods.  I do.  I don't eat a lot at one time.  I almost always need a to-Joe* box. 

It's just that every once in awhile (every other day or so... OK?) I eat something not so good:  fried fish, a HUGE bowl of Breyers Ice Cream, a bag of crunchy Cheetos. 

And when you consider that I'm 5'4" and as active as a pet rock, I really don't need many calories AT ALL.

As far as activity goes, I don't.  I used to walk to USC (South Carolina) and back every weekday, about 2 miles plus all of the walking around a huge campus.  I used to walk to and stumble from the bars in 5-pts, easily working off the beer I drank.  Yesterday I opted out of walking less than a mile to a picnic where Bob was singing.  He would have given me a ride home, too.  It's not even hot yet... only in the high 80s.  And then I wonder why I'm fat.

AND HERE WE HAVE IT: the plan.

Dear Diary:

Starting today tomorrow next Monday today (which is Saturday), I am going to pack really good food into my measly 1800 calorie requirement.  I 'm going to walk, dance, garden, DO SOMETHING fun and active EVERY DAMN DAY even if it kills me.

But, of course, that isn't really a plan, it is a goal, and that has been my problem. 

I have given lip service to Eating the Angel Way, but in fact, I haven't made any real effort to change my bad habits. 

OK, Kath, here's the deal.  Just because it's natural doesn't mean it's easy.  Intuition takes hard work, especially in the beginning. 

I need to figure out what works for me.  Since I'm INTP, I tend to think too much, but maybe I can make that work.  Recognize that I need a chart, a graph, a visual organizer.

That's cool, but don't spend so much time thinking and making pretty charts that you forget to eat and walk, K?

OK.  I'll let you know what I figure out.

Embracing Health for Lent

Sunday Father Paul's sermon was a primer on Lent.  He suggested that Lent was a time of permission, an opportunity to do something different, to see things in a new way, to do or not do something the same.  He said it was a time to change things, make a sacrifice or do something better, in order to get closer to God. 

(On a side note, I'd like to commend Father Paul for preaching this entire sermon without using the word "paradigm.")

This morning, I realized that what I will do is embrace health.

I've had a headache and vague nausea for several days.  Although I did leave early and take a small nap, I have worked long hours and done afterwork appointments.  All the while telling everyone how miserable I am.  Just so you'd know, y'know?

I have known for a very long time that I can make myself sick without too much trouble.  If I worry about something, I can become violently ill in order to avoid it.  If I am tired and stressed, I can get a full-blown migraine which gives me permission to lie down.  I don't (usually) sit down and try to make myself sick, it just happens.  If I say I can't do something because I'm sick, I'll be sick.

Now, I'm going to see if I can make myself well.  The mind thing is all well and good, but I can't just think positive and feel great.  (I can to some extent, I know.)  Mostly, I am working long hours, I can't do things that I want to do, I have to do things I don't want to do, I have to be with human beings 12 or more hours a day.  I am stressed.  It's not going to change (because I choose to remain a tax accountant, mother, active church member, school supporter, etc.) for a couple of months.  What can change are some actions on my part:

1. I'm going to quit saying, "I have a headache" everytime something comes up that frustrates me.
2. I'm going to eat good food and not rely on the yummy delicious greasy but still yummy fast food fix.
3. I'm going to take time to myself and actually walk rather than just talk about it.  (Where did I put the walking shoes?)
4. I'm going to smile a calm serene smile all damn day long.  And when I see someone, I'll brighten it.  Even if I feel crappy, I can make someone else feel better.
5. I'm going to take my medicine every day.  No more courting a stroke or heart attack.  Embrace health.
6. I'm going to spend time just sitting and talking or playing games with my kids.  Because I want to and not because Parker Brothers says we have to have a family game night.
7. I'm going to take time for myself to do whatever the hell I want, whether it's productive or stupid; meaningful or meaningless.

And in this way, I'm going to take care of myself and my world, so that I can clear the clutter and be closer to god.

God willing.

Eat food. Don't join a cult.

I am not the "cult joining" type of person.  I only joined the neighborhood association for the pot-luck lunch they hold once a year.  Cults are way too close to being "stylish" although the style may be bizarre.  I am not stylish.

I say this because I have been reading about Michael Pollan, and I pretty much like what I've read except the part about him having a "cult-like following." 

Pollan says: Eat food.  Not too much.  Mostly plants.

I can go with that.  I can almost go with the thing about not eating food your grandmother wouldn't recognize, except that my grandmothers and great grandmothers ate mostly potatoes, rudabagas, and Twinkies.  I eat much more interesting foods than they did. 

I do try to avoid food with an ingredient list that is: a) over an inch long and b) mostly in Latin or Greek.  Unless it's a complicated Greek recipe.  But you get the point.

I keep in mind Annie's observation: men are like raindrops and women are like snowflakes.  It seems to me that any diet that involves cult-like following of rules, meal plans, or no-no lists is not going to work for the snowflakes.  I'm not sure it works for the raindrops.  (For the raindrops: give up bread or beer, whichever you like more.  Don't ask me why, but it works for men.)

Right now, I am working not to stress as tax season begins.  I am eating pretty well, which I hope will help me feel better.  I am thinking about exercising.  I am going to a yoga class tomorrow.  Really. 

But I continue to have a disfunctional relationship with food.  I still get upset and eat a bag of cheetoes even though I know it will make me sick.  I still eat too much, too many Little Debbies, too few plants.  But I'm working on it.

It's in the stars

My horoscope for today said that my physical and mental health were intertwined. It suggested I improve my eating and moving habits, while at the same time reducing stress at work. Then it suggested that I not try to do it all at once. And I thought...

OK.

So if I need to simultaneously improve my diet, my exercise, and my stress level without doing too much, what do I do?

I always do big things. I always plan a complete menu for a year before I start a d-word. I make charts and diagrams before I exercise. I don't know about reducing stress... I've never done that.

Sooooo... small steps. Today I will NOT go to Hardee's for an omelet biscuit and smothered country potatoes. In fact, yogurt and that dried fruit muesli I made might be good. For lunch, I'll probably get a decadent salad... yummy with lots of colors. I'll think about packing lunches later.

small steps... today I will walk around the yard once (unless I get really ticked and need to take another round.) I will order the pedometer recommended by my friend Margaret.

small steps... today I will not let things piss me off because I can't control them. Things will work out. I will enroll in the City Yoga class for next Thursday for me, Katy and maybe Ellen. Then Katy & I will buy cute yoga clothes and a mat for her. (My mat has been sitting in the closet for about six months, when I bought cute clothes, some Pilate equipment and a CD.)

small steps.